Sunday, July 20, 2014

Answers to Questions I am asked - How do you do it? What can I expect? What is your best advice?

Having 2 sets of multiples does NOT make me an expert! However, My husband & I have been through almost everything.  We learn something new from our children and about our children everyday.

The first 6 months is the hardest. Once they start sleeping thru the night it is much easier. ....I would take diapers and bottles some days over mouths and upcoming puberty!

Also stock up on paper and plastic everything. The last thing you will want to mess with is dishes.

The beginning is hard, but so worth it. I would literally sleep 2 hours a night at first. 

 Try making at least a month of freezer meals, crock-pot and otherwise. Also, pick up about 2 to 4 cases of diapers of all sizes a month. Diapers.com has a good deal, I paid .14 cents a diaper (always in the stores doing diaper math lol). Consignment stores are a big help too. Ain't no shame in buying used, the kids will grow through things so super fast!

As for a schedule, we started a bedtime routine at 7 weeks and they had it down by 8 weeks. The triplets were 5 weeks early. They were sleeping in one crib then. Twins were 3 weeks early. They still sleep with us. I think sleep habits are important, so I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child before they were born. It helped me understand the amount of sleep they needed, etc.

Make sure you take care of yourself. Have someone ask if you've eaten and make sure you are drinking, especially if you are breastfeeding. Have plenty of easy foods in the freezer. We had a lot of deli sandwiches at first.

But having three babies at 14 months and finding out twins are on the way is crazy. 

Sleep all you can now. Are you planning on breastfeeding? If so, it was easier for me to learn with each baby individually before tandem feeding. I breastfed & supplemented with formula...Baby A ate more often than Baby B and Baby C so Baby B and C were fed every time I fed Baby A until I could get A to space out feedings longer.

And no matter how much you clean your house, it will never stay that way.

You can not prepare for it. No matter who you talk to, what you read, you will be flying by the seat of your pants! Once you let go of the need to know everything, you can enjoy the journey!

Schedules and prepare for anything & everything...don't have your heart set on a "plan"...adjust with them as they cue you to what they need!!

I always tell people, take LOTS of pictures, because the first year is a blur.  Pictures will refresh your mind and you can never get those moments to "re-take" a photo memory.

 It's ok to cry! You will have those days, but Save your tears for the shower. No one will even know, and you don't want your kids to see that.

Be prepared for anything....don't be afraid or too proud to accept help (hard for some to do this, but you will be better off), you will get lots of advice, but sometimes you take it with a grain of salt and forget it....at the end of the day, it is your household who had to figure it out--not the rest of the world's.
If you have a church family, friends, or relatives who live close-by, Accept offers of help, whether it's helping with the babies, helping with laundry, or even just another adult to talk to. And have a sense of humor because there will be times that you're frustrated, angry, tired, and at the end of your rope, if you can find something to laugh about it helps with stress relief.

Enjoy them, as tired as you will be. It gets better. It's a different challenge everyday, but over all it does get better!

Do everything together as soon as you can. If one wakes up to eat, wake the other one up. Yes, prepare, but go with it. I heard before I had my girls to treat them like one child - when one eats, the other ones do too; when one sleeps, put the others to sleep too & wake up too (moreso this when they are a bit older, not newborns!)...I still do it to this day (girls are 5 years old) and its just much easier on me...babies and toddlers and kids of all ages need a schedule/routine. set one up that works for you and them. Best advice I was given...
 If anyone offers to help, take them up on it. Find something, even if it's small that they can help do. It will be one less thing for you to worry about.

Age 17-26 months were the hardest! Terrible two's never really came for me. They become fully mobile but had no sense of safety, no understanding of "no". Taking them places where they would run in different directions in a crowd, jump into a pool when they really couldn't swim, or dart into the street and really not understand that any of the choices were dangerous, was so stressful!

Listen to your body.. and relax you will be fine.

Try to join a moms club, a Moms of Multiples club is awesome. However, doesn't have to be a MOMs club, just a club with other moms going through the same thing.

Remember try not to compare your kids to each other, or other children of the same age. They may be twins+, but they are separate children. They may not eat the same amount, walk/crawl/talk at the same time and that is normal!

Throw every plan you have out the door because multiples write their own rules and those rules constantly change so just go with the flow and try not to stress. 

SLEEP WHEN THEY SLEEP and let the house go.

Buy a ton of sheets because it's possible some nights you might have to change them multiple times before you can wash more due to spit up, throw up, leaking bottles or cups, or a diaper that overflows in the middle of the night.

Buy swings that was my life saver when they were little it kept them happy when I needed to do things and couldn't hold all of them. They have eaten, slept, played, and watched t.v in those swings.

Know that it's ok to get frustrated having two or three or more people need the exact same thing from you at the exact same time 24 hours a day it is exhausting if they have to cry it out in their crib for a few minutes for you to get your head on straight again that's ok, too.

Don't forget to feed yourself and get time away to be a better mom. Take breaks when you can get them!

 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

July 4th when your husband is a Combat Veteran who suffers from PTSD


You are going to be hearing a lot of loud, concussive noises over the next few days, whether or not fireworks are legal where you live. For most of us, these explosions may be an occasional annoyance, but overall are part of the fun and spirit of Independence Day celebrations. For some veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder, though, they can be a nightmare.

My husband spent 27 years defending our great Country as an Infantry soldier, Bradley fighting vehicle commander, Master gunner, and was deployed 9 different times to combat, to places including Bosnia-Herzegovina, Desert Storm Veteran Iraq (OIF), Afghanistan (OEF), Kosovo and a proud graduate of the United States Sergeants Major Academy (USASMA), yet he suffers from PTSD, so the 4th of July,  it's not so fun for him.  The fireworks trigger severe agitation, anger, fright, fear, anxiety, frustration and panic attacks in those veterans suffering from PTSD, causing flashbacks to times of war, the US Department of Veteran Affairs said in a news release.

My husband who does not purposely try to avoid spending time on these holidays with our children is actually sad and depressed over it.  We want our kids to experience the beauty of fireworks displays and the reason our country celebrates the 4th of July. As a result, we stay inside or most often travel to visit family or celebrate America’s day of independence in a quiet area.

In all honesty, the most significant problem is the smaller fireworks that may be set off before or after July 4 when my husband least expects them. The smaller, random fireworks that start getting used weeks ahead of July 4th and continue getting used for weeks after the holiday sometimes. Nobody knows when one of these little loud blasts is going to occur. My husband has had flashbacks when kids threw M80s into the creek behind our house or rockets in their backyard, or when somebody lights off a string of firecrackers in their mailbox.

The sound of firecrackers, fireworks or other loud noises may remind veterans of wartime explosions, attacks and gunshots, triggering episodes in which they re-experience their trauma – especially when the fireworks come at an unexpected time. 
It isn't any great mystery why, given how frequently extremely loud noises accompany traumatic combat experience.
"Even with my recovery, and treatment through the Veterans Affairs (VA) hospital, the fireworks will annoy me this week. The [fireworks] stands are all open, I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life," he said.

This is doubly sad, of course, given that July 4th is partly about celebrating veterans — and that there isn't much that affected veterans can do but try to get away from those celebrations until they can cope with the stress and anxiety, and most of all memories.

God bless those of you who are able to celebrate and enjoy the festivities.  Stay Safe!